For My Mom…

Mom,

Where do I even start?

You have been my best friend, even when I thought you were my worst enemy. You never stopped loving me and proving it, even when I told you I hated you. Those preteen/early teenage years were rough for me, but you were resilient, graceful and loving through it all. You held me closer, longer and harder even when I struggled to be free from your embrace. It was exactly what I needed and you knew that. I didn’t want to admit how much I needed you.

You’ve taught me how to enjoy life and live for the moment. I remember countless mornings that we ate cake for breakfast and that time you let Anastasia and I ditch school and drove us to New York City just to see Destiny’s Child in concert! It was a surprise, you had just told us the night before and we were so excited! Remember those trips to Disneyland when you told us not to forget to forget our sweatshirts and jackets in the car, that way we could buy new ones? Remember all those cheerleading competitions we went to? You cheered for the cheerleaders! You supported me in every way. From the smallest things to the life changing moments.

Remember all three times I told you I was pregnant? The first time I was just 17 and we found out together. You held me as I cried in the doctor’s office and told me it would be ok. You held my hand as the doctor explained my options and gave me space and time to make my own decision. When I told you I had decided I wanted to raise my baby you were so happy and supportive. You wanted me to enjoy my pregnancy even in the difficult position I was in. Remember when I called to tell you I was pregnant with Tristan? I had spoken to you a couple times that day, but didn’t tell you yet. I was waiting for Taurean and I to tell you together and when we finally called you together you started venting about Dad for like half an hour! I finally got a chance to spill the beans and you were so happy you cried! Then there was that time I came to tell you that I was pregnant with Tatum. I was so upset and not ready to have another baby, Tristan was only 4 months old. I wasn’t even ready to accept that I was pregnant. I didn’t even have to tell you, you guessed it. And when I confirmed it you smiled, so big and got so excited. You threw your arms around me and told me how great it was to be having another baby. You held my hand each time I delivered a baby and took care of me when I took care of them.

We became even closer when I became a mom myself. I had an even deeper appreciation for everything you did and continue to do. I finally understood the love you always had for us.

I love you!

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